Who am I?

I saw you today

Today I went to school to pick up books. When the reigstrar found out that i was coming back for sure she stood up and hugged me. Everyone came and was like we were so worried that you weren’t coming back and we prayed so hard that you would. yet, i saw you standing in front of the gym. you were just standing there looking at me and i at you. after everyone congratulated me I just looked at you and you looked right back at me. We did not move, we did not start walking closer, we did not acknowlege eachother, we just kept on looking. I wanted to go over there and say hi but i couldnt move and it seems neither could you. I wanted to tell you about how i had my first encounter with a boy that i might actually like, the second one. but i didn’t. we just lloked at eachother and then i turned. I turned and looked away, with my broher saying you better not go up there and start talking. but he only said it becasue of the past experiences me and you have. whenever i go up to you i always am sucked into your beauty, your happiness, an your eyes. my brother just didnt want to have to stay there any longer than he had to but today he did not have to worry. today is different than anyother day. today is the first time where we saw each other and neither one of us moved. is this how its going to be this school year? i dont think i can take it. but is it beacuse i like you or is it becasue i am your best friend. why do i feel this sense of emptiness when i think about you and you are not here. i ask myself do i miss ou becasue you are my friend or becasue i want you to be more than just my friend, but i remember that i kinda like boys. that last thought confuses everything i know, and apparantley everything i hold dear.